“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” –Marcus Aurelius

I met the Shaktivator in Ubud Bali, which seems to be the Mecca for lost souls seeking spiritual guidance and radical change. I had been shown his website by one of my friends, and I instantly wanted to meet this complex creature.

Now, I like pretty much all shapes, sizes, colors, genders, niches, the weirder the better. But I have had very very bad experiences with men who follow similar mantras about how to procure pussy, so in my quest through Bali to identify what practices were bullshit and which were actually helpful to the development of your soul, I set out to meet him.

Often in life, we come to quick snap judgements, and I very wrongly walked into this interview thinking I was going to meet an entirely other person. Who I met, was Dennis AKA the Shaktivator. A man who has some very interesting ideas about how men can better connect to women and harness their own sexual energy for good. So, get ready, for the wisdom of the Shaktivator.

Edited with endless care and thoughtfulness by Emily B Armstrong
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Music: Kundalini Mantra - Adi Shakti sol Ama Namaskar 
Dreams remix: Psyche Magik 
Follow them! @psychemagik

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“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.”

I met Skylove Solei at a private sound healing that featured water beds with the instruments hooked up to giant bass speakers that were UNDER the water beds so the vibrations literally blew open your third eye and blasted you into outer space. Sound crazy? IT WAS. It was at the Pyramids of Chi in Bali, a sacred hippie dippie next level yoga compound where people of all walks of life (as long as they are wealthy) come to harness their root chakras. Sometimes, when I write words like this, I feel like I've been abducted by yoga aliens and they are in fact now typing for me.

He was all angles, all muscle, lean and mean and only dresses in the kind of fancy drapey white Tulumenti robes that is usually reserved for people who like to drink Kool Aid in group settings.

He seemed to glide about the room. I could never hear his footsteps. He had a heart wrenching singing voice, and could play literally every instrument I've every seen at once time. He was cool as a cucumber, and I wanted to know everything about him.

So I met him again, this time for a group sound healing where women were moaning so loudly I thought either I was going bananas or someone's pineal glad was located inside of there clitoris. Hard to know either way. So we sat, inside this pyramid, surrounded by candles and giant instruments and he showed me how to play them and how he had to come to cross my path in Bali.

I'll say this about Bali, no matter who you are, it's hard not to fall victim it's palpable spirituality, and eternal search of self....so much so that it's easy to become obsessed with a singular pursuit of a higher consciousness. I do not come from a world that believes in any of this, but I too, have drank the Kool Aid and I'm all about, this crystal bowl life now.

But I'll say this, there is so much love in this community, and in the pursuit of their highest self, I have found the people that I would have completely written off before as looney tunes, to welcome me with open arms, listen to my skepticism and offer me their life stories simply as a testament to what can happen when you stop believing that god is out to get you and only you, and start to believe that the collective consciousness is on your side.

Also included a bonus snippet I couldn't fit into our longer conversation at the very very end...I just couldn't help myself.

THANK YOU SKYLOVE. You can check out all of his art at
Check out Pyramids of Chi here!

I AM LOOKING FOR SUPERFANS. Please email me at genuinelyfalse@gmail.comif you want to participate in a one on one survey about how I can be a better podcast creator THANK YOU!!

If you want something close to this in NYC go to Woom Center

Music: Love Light: Soul Clap

Edited with kindness and charisma my Emily B. Armstrong

You can find me here! 

No beauty shines brighter than that of a good heart - Shanina Shaik


I met Amma, when I had gone to a Christian Faith Healers Baptizing ceremony in Bali at a place called the Blue Lagoon. Yes, I know, talk about a Jew outta water.

I had come there because I had befriended a man named Rasmus, a German Entheogen (hallucinogenic) expert, who had recently turned to Jesus and had found the ultimate transcendent experience in his words.

He invited me to a prayer circle, and of course, I hopped on the back of a Gojek (the Uber of Bali) and a man wearing 15 silver rings and a Van Halen t shirt sped me through the rice fields to a place so off the beaten track, I thought I had been tricked into a Taken situation, but I waded through the high grass, and found this little oasis where people from all over the world had come to talk about their devotion to Christ.

We will hear from more of these faith healers soon, but for now all you need to know is Rasmus decided I needed to be "healed" (I mean duh, what was your first clue) and people sat in a circle around me and put their warm soft hands all over my body, and asked Jesus to heal me with his love.

I was about as comfortable with this as Larry David would be. But during this movie like moment, there was a woman, who was radiating light and love in such a powerful way I only could really see her.

Her name was Amma, and she was wearing this beautifully confusing collection of fancy beige pieces of fabric that somehow came together as a dress. I asked her if she would talk to me, after my "healing," and we went to a corner of this bizarre room full of people swaying and chanting Jesus's name, and with a black cat on my lap (this was a magical cat, i almost took him back to the US with me) I sat and was completely absorbed by her.

We talked for over two hours, but a lot of it was too personal for me to share (I know, can you believe it!!) But here is, a much reduced version, of the moment I met a woman who would heal many broken parts of me. She even made childbirth sound cool!!! She's very magical.

She makes these beautiful sacred clothes so you can see the sort of goddess she radiates.

Check them out @ayasacredwear

For the first time, I felt like I met a spiritual healer and practicer that wasn't full of shit. I LOVED HER.

Ama, I wish you so much luck in your journey of love, I am so glad there are people like you on this planet.

connect with me!!

Edited with love and patience by Emily B Armstrong
Music: Thievery Corporation: Satyam Shivam
Gamelan Semar Pegulingan (Gamelan of the Love God)

“You already know everything, all ayahuasca does is remind you, it makes you aware of the infinite you have already known.” ― Gerard Armond Powell

Acid, mushrooms, DMT, MDA, 5 MAO, Changa, Iboga, Ayahuasca all of these things can help people knock down the walls that our parents build around our consciousness from the moment we exit the womb. All of them, when used wisely, can lead to profound changes in how we perceive everything around us and can often help open our hearts and expand our thinking. HOWEVER, what kind of changes, have a lot to do with your intention, and if your intention is to get fucked and dance, (no judgement, did it for years) you'll miss most of the precious information that they can provide.

So, I wanted to share with you some perspectives on how you can use these tools more wisely, so you can not only have the best time ever, but can harness the true gifts they are here to provide.

So, our Journey with Ayahuasca continues. We'll meet a man I met when he sat down next to me at a dinner party in Bali. He had a super fucked, bandaged up hand, and had recently come back from an emergency trip to Singapore for surgery, after a scooter accident.

We bonded over our collective lack of scooter skills, and he made me laugh so much that I decided that there must be more hidden stories inside of him so I met him at a local vegetarian restaurant (duh) and amongst the many sounds of Bali, (enginee, horny monkeys and poorly timed roosters) we sat, and talked. What I didn't know, was that he was studying to be a Curandero.

He had just landed in Bali after a 3 year deep dive into the Amazon to learn about their plants and now even speaks the local languages (which is REALLY hard, I've tried to learn)!

So, off we go into his brain to find out more about what he has learned from the sacred vine, we talked about so so many more things, but for the sake of people's destroyed attention spans, I narrowed our focus to a mini education podcast on Ayahuasca.

Again, usually when you take plant medicine, you will be OK...eventually. I was told by my Iboga provider that I was going to get out of it what I needed, not what I wanted, which is think is about the best advice you can take going into these 4/5/6 dimensions.

Whatever you decide, set your intention, do your homework, and strap in baby cuz the ride is going to be better and worse than you could have ever imagined.

In addition to working with plant medicine, I personally have become obsessed with self improvement on every level, (I have great bones, but my foundation had some carniverous termites in it,) and am taking a giant looking glass to every aspect of my life that needed work. Trust me, THERE'S ALOT. Because of this, I am on the 5th day of a liver detox, and let me tell you, I am feeling super weird but really good. Turns out that most of us modern human are living with TONS of toxins inside of us, and resetting your gut micro biome seems to be the best way to get rid of the last residues of your toxic past. Message me if you have questions, this shit is life changing.

Wherever you are I wish you warmth, sunshine, and the power to be happy with what you have at this moment.

Z to the OE

Edited by the one and only Emily Stretch Armstrong 
Music: The Buchanans - Medicine Man 
Breathe - Telepopmusik (instrumental)

Connect with me! I love hearing from you.
Instagram @drznightingale 
twitter @genuinleyfalse
website: www.zoenightingale.com

“The scariest part of ayahuasca, the thing that scares us the most, is that we might see ourselves.” ― Gerard Armond Powell

So...plant medicine. It's something that I hold with utmost respect and complete reverence and it's something that's being exploited at a rate that makes my head spin.

I first encountered it when I was traveling throughout South America when I was 18 (in 2004!!) I was living in Tena, a small rainforest preserve in a tiny straw hut and our guide, named Gato, who had yellowish eyes and was a tree frog expert asked my friends if we wanted to participate in a religious ceremony. He mostly spoke a language called Quecha, and some Spanish, so the translation left a little to the imagination but two of my friends, knowing nothing, went and did it. When they came back, they told me about Ayahuasca, about drinking a mud like sludge that tasted like a mixture of rotten flesh and fermented manure, and the subsequent 24 hours filled my mind with total wonder and confusion.

My friend Ben, who was a light filled happy go lucky kid from Maine who always had a small guitar and a rainbow tacky sack and a smile, was never the same. He saw things, that literally rained on his entire souls parade.

For months we traveled together and he was a shell of himself. He never talked about it again...I didn't hear again about plant medicine for many many years, but it's been creeping up slowly in my community like a invasive vine. All of a sudden there's "shamans" in Bushwick giving " ceremonies in their backyards and I want to use whatever small platform I have to give people a real warning. THIS IS NOT A FUN EXPERIENCE. Plant medicine will change everything you think you know about yourself and your world. THIS IS NOT FOR EVERYONE.

They should be revered, respected and cherished. The knowledge they can bring is literally otherworldly. It is not for people who want to get high. I will be bringing you two stories. Each is beautiful, each is valid, each has a lot of information for people who are searching and looking to walk down a medicine path.

Buckle up kids, it's gonna get ugly.

Edited with love by Emily Armstrong.
Music: Icaro chanting songs

Connect with me!

“There is only one active ingredient in plant medicines: friendship. A plant spirit heals a patient as a favor to its friend" - Elliot Cowan

We continue following our beautiful Heroine down the rabbit hole as the effects from here Ayahuasca journey continue to manifest in ways she never imagined. Again, I believe that people are abusing this sacred vine, and that westerners who are searching for truth are not doing the actual work it requires to fully process this ancient and transformative medicine and people all around me are having severe reactions to this lack of preparation for meeting the Devine Mother Spirit.

I am all for people responsibly using any kind of catalyst to open their mind and alter their perceptions of the narrow viewpoints we've been given as children but this is not the way for most.

Next week we will hear from a medicine man about his thousands of journeys with Ayahuasca and the restorative, transformative nature of this powerful brew.

STAY WARM. I am fucking freezing. :(

Edited with love and care by Emily Armstrong

The Closer I am to die, the Closer I am to Feel Alive - Alain Roberts

There are moments in life where you realize, that the universe is on your side. Meeting Alain Robert, the French Spiderman, was so improbable that it must have been woven by the goddess of fate. He had just been released from prison in Manila, and I had somehow just arrived to Manila!

I had just left Bali where I had been living for months, and arrived in Manila. I was completely disoriented, as I had been living in a jungle paradise to arrive in a super charged metropolis with over 26 million people and a current of electricity and chaos that I had forgotten about in my months living only with large blue geckos. The first night I was in Manila, the family who was living outside my window in a homemade apt that seemed to be made using only sheets of metal, duct tape, and sheer determination decided to slaughter a very large and very vocal pig. I was awoken by sounds of screaming so startling I thought I was still in a nightmare. Suffice it to say, I won't be eating piggies again ever. Have you ever heard a pig die? ITS FUCKING TERRIBLE. Don't eat them, they have many many feelings and are very very smart.

Anyway the next day I was working at the bar of my hotel, drinking a glass of overpriced white wine when the most curious man walked through the dar. This man, was wearing, the coolest outfit I have ever seen. It was almost completely snakeskin, his belt, cowboy boots, pants and vest ALL SNAKE in different colors, one of which was a metallic silver. He rocked up to the restaurant with a huge entourage and they started bringing him bottles of Moet and I thought to myself, yep, this guy and I are destined to be fast friends. So I somehow tricked him into letting me bring out my microphones and while we eat pasta dripping in cream and mushrooms and fresh French bread he let me interrogate him about who he was and why of all the bars in Makati, he had wandered into mine.

Who he is, is possibly the most inspiring man I have met. A man whose story brought me to tears and refilled my trampled heart with a kind of hope I forgot existed. I love you Alain. Thank you for being you.

Music: Spiderman theme song 1962
Laidback remix SoulClap - Bakerman

Edited with LOVE and CARE by Emily Armstrong


"An artist cannot fail; it is a success to be one." - Charles Horton Cooley

ART BASEL. What is it exactly? It’s a big fuck off money laundering party where you'll see some of the most innovative art in the world but you have to search in between piles of excrement, so large, you'll think they're a set from Jurassic Park.

I love artists, and I love creation in all forms, but what I don't love is that the wealthy gallery elite have sucked all of the soul and fun out of it. I am NOT saying that there isn’t bright spots of creative genius all over, all I am saying is the price tags are HILARIOUS and most of the ideas about as fresh as Monday night’s fish.

I have tried to understand it but this is the year I am officially throwing in my white hankie. I’m done, I’m out. The rich and famous no longer interest me.

When my beloved Singa was dying, I promised her that I would not only throw her a party fit for a Pharaoh (I did) but I would take her ashes and put them in warm places she could watch the sun rise and set every day over the horizon.

So I have set off on a two-part quest. One, to spread the ashes of my best friend, and two, to learn how to be a better global citizen of the planet. I want to share ways that we can all help our fellow humans and try to find ways that I can live more harmoniously with Mother Earth.

However, two weeks into my trip, here in Ubud, I got into a really bad scooter accident... and because I was wearing the fancy helmet I bought the moment I stepped foot on this bonkers death trap island, I am alive. If I had not been wearing it, I would most likely be dead. Then my mother would have had to pay for my body to be shipped back to the U.S. and she would have found my ghost and re killed me.

I had to remember a lot of very important lessons in the five seconds after I crashed, when I was trying to figure out if I was paralyzed or not, lessons I thought were already cemented in my brain the last time I fought and lost a battle with wheels (Zoe on Rollarblades vs. the Marriott airport pick up truck that flattened me into one of those Acme two dimensional cartoon dead people with giant x’s over my eyes.)

The most hilarious part is, THERE IS NO ONE MORE CAREFUL THAN ME ON A SCOOTER. I wear the best helmet, I honk for no reason, I go about 2 kilometers per hour. None of that mattered. It’s all a big game of chance against the weavers of your fate, so just in case you get squashed by life... DON’T FORGET.

Tell your mother you love her, have a will planned in case of emergencies, get your house in order. Live the life that makes you happy, not the one that looks good in photos. Anger, jealousy, bitterness serve no one. Forgive people the moment they wrong you. Don’t regret any of your past as it got you to where you are. No matter what your problems are, you can change and live the life that you want. As long as you are breathing, YOU'RE GOOD. Eat dessert, talk to strangers, and always give people a chance to say that they are sorry... Oh yeah, and don’t forget your sunscreen. God, am I a preachy disaster today.

Also, if you’re an east coast Jew who comes from a long line of potato people whose idea of an adventure is to try a two letter word for a triple letter score that you’re not sure is in the Scrabble approved dictionary, don’t think you can drive a scooter. You will hurt yourself. It’s only a matter of time. I can’t even believe I made it two weeks without getting hit by a seven year old, smoking a cigarette, driving a three wheeled “car” full of chickens.

THIS PLACE IS CRAZY. But I love it. Signing off from UBUD, with one working eye and two knees that look like they were trying to pay rent.


Edited with unbelievable love and kindness from Stretch Emily ARMSTRONG.
Principles: Benoit and Sergio
Love Train: Pillow Talk and Soul Clap and Greg Paulus CREW LOVE FOR LIFE


“The only way out of the labyrinth of suffering is to forgive.” ― John Green

For the most part, fancy parties, rich people, and expensive modern art are lame. There, I said it. Whew that felt good.

The thing that makes me bananas is that we live in a world of over educated humans who will spend hours discussing the evils of Trump, Republicans or greedy corporations who turn their backs on their fellow man, while doing it themselves every day. At least Trump is on brand, he has categorically stuck to his beliefs which are: fuck everyone, and grab mother nature's pussy without shame. But I have found recently a giant swath of bleeding heart liberals who claim to care about others, while participating in the same systems that subjugate humans and destroy the planet...All I want is for people to look up from their phones and into the eyes of people in the streets. They are people, they deserve our love and support.

I wasn’t going to ever let this episode ever see the light of day, I have tons of work where I feel like it’s not “funny” enough, it’s just another sad sack who made bad life choices and my listeners probably only want light and love and comedy in these dark days, but I really had such a hard time at Art Basel with the juxtaposition of money and art that’s trying to make a commentary on our society and change people's mindsets that’s really just a pig with a sephora level makeover that’s another high brow way to celebrate money being the golden calf idol that we all pray to. Fuck that. Just do small things in your life to give back the love that’s given to you. People are desperate for just one other person to give a fuck while fancy people in turquoise geometric glasses sip Perrier Jouet in long stemmed flutes waxing poetically about how this 27 thousand dollar bronze dick sculpture is helping change the landscape of female rights. Nothing changes anything besides random acts of kindness and selfless gifts of love. Get it together first world, the way you live your life bores me.

Edited with love and patience by Emily Armstrong emilylaurenedits@gmail.com
Instagram: Drznightingale
Twitter: @genuinelyfalse 
Website www.zoenightingale.com

Music: Let me Be Him: Hot Chip
All is Full of Love: Bjork

Art is not a mirror to hold up to society, but a hammer with which to shape it. - Leon Trotsky

I MET MICHELE LAMY. I worship this woman. Bad ass artist, kick ass human, wife of Rick Owens, OG style icon, I can't even. Not only did she let me hang out with her... I gifted her my trusty megaphone and she ran around the art fair yelling at people with it. DREAMS DO COME TRUE EVERYONE.

In this episode we meet a bunch of wonderful humans all trying to help me understand, as per usual, why a 12 ft black bronze dildo costs 45K.

I for one am about to take a boat to a WEENCY TEENCY island in the middle of the carribean off of Panama with a bunch of wonderful humans to bring in the new year sans technology but full of sun fun and snorkeling and dancing to disco and all the things that make my life worth living.

CAN YOU BELIEVE ITS 2019. Speechless. Years are whizzing by and yet I remain faithfully yours, bringing you the stories you didn't even know you wanted to know from all corners of the globe


Edited with love by Emily Brodtman (I LOVE YOU) www.emilybrodtman,com

music: Don't want to Short Short Man: Gilette
Can You Feel It: Micheal Jackson

Every artist was first an amateur - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

What is art? I ask this question every year. Some of the things I see at Art Basel tread a VERY fine line between what I think is a discarded pile of trash and what is considered to be revolutionary art work. But...who am I to judge? My girlfriend Noemi (who is a incredible artist) and I were wandering around Art Miami and she introduced me to this lovely man, who had an incredible James Bond Villain like accent and laugh, who had dug up some fossils, and was brilliantly selling his findings in the middle of this fancy art fair! GENIUS. Check out why fossils are art and why museums are dying right now!

VIDEOS of this interview are available on my youtube page right now!!

Follow me on Instagram! @DrZnightingale
Twitter @genuinelyfalse

Music: Jurassic Park Theme Song, John Williams
Edited with help with the amazing Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com


Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy – Steve Martin

ART BASEL 2018 bitches! This must be my 7th year at the worlds most confusing event. Every year I go, and every year I'm left with the same question, WHY DOES THIS STUFF COST SO MUCH.

Every year some guy with a german accent and cool colorful glasses explains it to me, but I still don't understand. I am also redoing my youtube to try to take the show to a more visual 360 experience alongside the interviews so you can watch alongside each podcast. YAY! I'm getting my digital shit together(finally).

Big thanks to @Curvyphysique and @elena88c for their beauty charm and elegance which made me literally feel like I knew nothing about how to be sexy, but hopefully they will be my mentors and teach me everything I need to know about how to be a success in this internet age. I can't promise you I'll ever be able to post a photo of just my butt, but maybe, just maybe I'll work in some clavicle shots.

As always I send you my love, hope and hugs through the airwaves.


VOTE THEM OUT. Vote them all out. I'm so over it. I would rather let the government be run by 2000 drunk chipmunks then most of these shiny wax figure robot politicians.

Democrats are useless, republicans are sheep, everyone thinks that talking about things on social media is what constitutes as participating in politics and no one is actually doing anything. I'm so frustrated. I put this mini episode together in a day and it's truly not my best work, no one would let me record them and the only people who would really speak to me were at a gas station off the side of main road, but whatever, just trying to do my part to get poking at people to get off their tuchus and stop accepting the bulldozing of everything that America is supposed to be about. I'm so sad. Even if we take the house, it's still such a mess. I for one learned a lot about republicans on this canvassing trip and mostly, it's that people are afraid of change, of "others" of the future, of their jobs, and for their children. Also, they REALLY don't like it when you ring their door bell 3 times. I'm running for office in 2020, get ready.

I am totally obsessed with finding a new way to communicate with people about how to effectively rise together and vote for people that are actually going to do what they are supposed to do which is protect their constituents and the country and the environment and the systems set up to do this are archaic crumbling and not effective. Everything needs to be overhauled. I'm gonna figure this out.

Bitches Love Cannon Shots

My friend Zander called me on a Monday and said, hey do you want to drive to Pittsburgh and check out a 15,000 person reenactment of the byzantine empire tomorrow morning...and of course I said...YES! I had literally no idea what I was getting myself into. I have done many weird things in my life, all the cons, festivals, but nothing prepared me for this.

This place, is magic. It's a breeding ground for SUPER nerds, who are all experts on some totally niche forgotten aspect of centuries past. Started by the SCA, or the Society for Creative Anacronism, this history buff wonderland is beyond description.

Crafts, foods, drinks, dance and battle all done as realistically as possible and quite frankly they do judge you if you aren't authentic. I had the very very best time. Also, they don't do drugs, and barely drink, they get their rocks off battling one another on giant battle fields to protect their specific fiefdoms! Its insanity. So here is a small amount of what I found, in two parts. In no way does it do justice to the vast richness of knowledge, classes and learning that is offered there.


I Like White People, But I Hate Cracker Ass Crackers...

HELLO! How are we everyone? I'm BACCCCCK, bigger, better, longer and after this.....uncut. (This joke will make more sense after you listen.) So one year after Richard Spencer and the genius think tank behind the White Power movement threw a super fun march that was a complete shitshow that ended in the tragic and untimely death of Heather Heyer, a beautiful young woman who was there protesting...these super brains thought, I know what we'll do... Let's throw an anniversary march of this dark terrible day, and that way we can show how "united" the White Power movement really is.....But this time, let's do it in...Drumroll please....Washington D.C.!

D.C....The Chocolate City, my hometown. A city full of beautiful people from all colors of the rainbow who do NOT take kindly to hate groups, a city so full of cops, military and special services that any move we make will be safeguarded by thousands of hard working police officers, all on the tax payer's dime!

So.....Of course, completely hung-over, I decided to hop on a train last minute and start a good ol' fashion Nazi hunt....Thing was, this march, which was supposed to unify the right and show their presence and might, only produced 20 paltry, scrawny, pasty, "Nazi's".

Despite this, approximately 1 billion of our tax dollars went into full force barricading and protecting these wonderful men, and helping them exercise their constitutional rights. Although I tried my darnedest to find one of these brave men and give them an opportunity to debate me on why they feel like white people have a right to this so called "American Dream.." I couldn't do it. I searched high and low, but not only did these nazi's not give their scheduled speeches in front of the White House but the itty bitty teeny tiny amount of them that came coward behind a tsunami of riot police so I couldn't even get close to them no matter how hard I tried...

So...What do I think after spending the day at this rally...? I think that D.C. is even cooler than I remember...That the counter movement of love and acceptance is growing stronger by the day, and that if we keep it up, there is a real chance that in the next election cycle, some real change is going to come. (Rest in Peace you glorious, wondrous super power that is, and was, Ms. Franklin.)

Are we still fucked? YEP! Is there still a seething, black-hooded and hoofed group of angry white people ("MEN") trying to protect their version of the American Dream? YOU BET YA.

So what can we do...? Get off your tuchus and VOTE. Raise money, AND give your money/time/heart/soul, and together, we shall overcome.....Or not, and our kids will be slaves to the gun toting hillbilly war lords that will beat us liberal-pansy-whining-NPR listening-losers in the upcoming Civil War: Numero Dos.

OFF TO THE BURN...See you when the dust settles.
I'll be at 9:15 and H, if you're around meet me and my mother at District, Tuesday afternoon.

Look for Singa Nightingale's mausoleum, at the temple...I will have paper and pens to leave her a love note, so you can send her a kiss to the sky before her ashes and my pain is burned up in the temple along with a million other moments of loss and love.

I miss you my everything.

When You Tell The Truth, You Don't Have to Remember Anything - Mark Twain

Basse - the bwiti word for truth, is what Iboga is all about. It is this search for truth - that creates such drastic results for it's partakers.

The tricky thing is, in order to find this truth, Iboga insists that one must start in the the hardest place of all, inside your own mind and soul. Iboga is like a hunter, that helps you seek and destroy all the lies growing and twisting around garden inside of your brain. When it finds them, it hands you a nuclear powered weed wacker and forces you to plow your entire consciousness with it. It's not pleasant, and it's not pretty, but it's fucking honest.

We are have a past, we all have a movie of our life that is playing silently in the background either filling you with shame or pride...I had a confusing Molotov cocktail of both.

Basse - it is now the solitary goal of my life to live, without lying to myself or anyone else, for the rest of my life.

Thank you Iboga, for that gift.

Singa wherever you are, I miss you. 

Life lived in the absence of the psychedelic experience, is life trivialized, life denied, life enslaved to the ego.” Terrence M

Now...Iboga is not for everyone. Iboga is a hardcore psychedelic that can send you on a universe transversing adventure inside of your mind...or make you confront lifelong trauma you've protected yourself from...either way, my first time, I called lovingly, the infinite loop of pain...A loop where I got to revisit millions of little moments that made up the fabric of my personality, sexuality, self esteem, and sense of self... some good some bad, some down right ugly.

I also had some pretty serious conversations with a giant antelope and hung out with a very large African man wearing a crown...but that's pretty normal...no?

We will get to my musings about my experience but for now, here is Marika, a fabulous gorgeous curly haired French vixen who spoke 5 languages and wore a striped black and white flowing dress the first night of our ceremonies that made my eyes do fucking backflips all night, but I digress. Next up we have Chelsea, one of the providers there who had dealt with hardcore issues of anxiety which lead to drug addiction which lead to prostitution, who found Iboga, and it saved her life. Then finally, the lovely Gary, the man who started this center and the reason we were all there in the first place.


I want to dedicate this work, and pretty much the all of my work to the one and only Singa, my best friend, who left this world 7 days ago. If you have a moment, say a prayer for her little dandelion spore soul, and wish it luck on it's next journey around the solar system
I love you Singa.
Every single day I fall more in love with you. Man it hurts. 

“Love is the most transformative medicine For Love slowly transforms you Into what psychedelics only get you to glimpse.” ― Ram Dass

In part two I continue to prepare for my first ceremony of Iboga root bark. I get my heart checked at the Hospital, (EKG) I check in with some of my fellow participants at the Iboga Wellness Center, and we go through orientation, and try to calm the tidal wave of nerves that have been building since I decided to try it. Cool and calm and I am not, and you can certainly hear my anxiety throughout this episode.

People take Iboga for many reasons, but for me it was so I could try to let go of some excruciating pain from my past that was rotting me from the inside out. So I used Iboga to try to break free of my past in order to move on to a happier future. Other people were there to move on from childhood trauma, drug addiction, lack of a spiritual core and were longing for a reconnection with their souls...

Wherever you are in this world I send you love and white light and hope you're having a beautiful sunny day full of cold puppy noses and warm long hugs.

Don't forget it's almost firefly time!!

Edited by Emily Brodtman www.emilybrodtman.com

They say that old ways won't open new doors...so I decided to do something new and open the scariest and most elusive door of all, the one that leads directly inside of my mind. I had heard about Iboga for years, first when my girlfriend used it successfully to rid herself of alcoholism. Iboga is traditionally used in West African countries including Cameroon, Gabon, and the Republic of the Congo to induce deep hallucinogenic trances where profound healings take place. Iboga is now being used in specialized clinics in Canada, Mexico, the Netherlands, South Africa, and New Zealand with astonishing results. For reasons I don't understand, Iboga like all plant medicine is a schedule 1 narcotic and will send you to actual pound you in the butt prison if you're caught with it.

My purpose in doing this podcast is to show that this is not a drug, it's a tool and a guide to help you overcome trauma and live in the present free from the shackles of addiction and pain. It is one of the only truly effective tools that can be used in the fight against opiate addiction and has been prying the monkey off people's backs with incredible success. I also want to be clear this isn't just an addiction tool, it's a tool for anyone who is looking to free themselves from self imposed shackles that life teaches you to fasten around your ankles. I don't have any one particular addiction I needed to break, but I had been struggling with deep pain from my past and couldn't seem to find relief anywhere.

So, I decided that it was time for me to really understand some of the patterns and grooves living in NYC has chiseled into my grey matter. I decided that I wanted to go as far as I could to understand my past in order to better serve my future.

I want to be clear that I do not like hallucinogens, and hate being knocked on my ass, out of control. Mind you I'll eat some mushrooms and dance for hours in the sun but I really truly hate the feeling of hardcore psychedelics, so when it came to this I have never been more terrified. I detoxed for a month leading up to it, but every night after I decided to do it I had nightmares and an unreal amount of anxiety leading me up to this first episode, that I recorded the day before my first ceremony.

What took place over the next two weeks was a series of lessons, taught to me, by me, and by this mighty tree bark that allowed me to go deeper into my psyche than I ever thought possible.

I want to thank the amazing Iboga Wellness Center, it's providers and it's founder Gary, for leading me through this journey and allowing me the space to sit with my fear and master it.

Sending you all the love in the world guys,

Thank you to Storm Pederson,, Ben Levingstone, my Aunt Mary, Anthony Adams and my lioness mother for helping me prepare for my first night..

If you want to learn more go to Iboga Wellness Center's Website: ibogawellness.com/