Episode 13: Frankly My Dear...I have Erectile Dysfunction

Oh how I loved this lovely old man...(he was born in 1938!) His name is Frank Webtenski, (adorbs!) I found him hobbling around the convention hall, his leather shoulder bag stuffed full of films titled things like Mothers Vs. Daughters...He had recently lost his life long wife and was spending his days volunteering at the Zoo (i mean how adorable) and jerking off to 18 year old girls who have to hold up their passport in the beginning, probably from an eastern european country just to prove they aren't 12...Anyway I digress, he was actually really sweet and dreamed of a day when he could simply have sex with a nice girl...who was three dimensional. We talked about having sex in your third trimester of life...trust me, I think all of us should forget about all our insecurities and have as much sex as humanely possible when you're young because the future is BLEAK, and dry and creaky.

so creepily adorable!! 

so creepily adorable!! 

This is my mom's reaction to my facebook post. She makes me laugh so much. 

This is my mom's reaction to my facebook post. She makes me laugh so much.