Episode 15: It Must Be Your Fathers DNA...

One of the best parts of starting this show was my mothers reaction to it. I can't begin to tell you how much fun it is to watch her respond to the different topics I bring up and her shock and confusion over the nefarious people I meet.  Basically my mother has this sweet, insanely gullible head in the clouds mindset (She thought my bong was a water vase) and regardless of how many times I trick her, she always has faith that in the future I will "act with gentle loving kindness." It reminds me of the Einstein quote about the definition of insantity... 

It's not her fault, her name is Kathy Jane and she grew up in the 50's and wore white gloves and pearls at dinner. Her clothes had her name embroidered in them and the most trouble she ever got in was when she definantly refused to eat her Strawberry Rhubarb Pie and was sent to her room without desert. However, she's always had a problem with what she calls my "fresh" mouth, and while she's come to terms with who I am, I still have so much fun pushing her buttons.

This conversation also perfectly demonstrates her complete inability to use Skype even after we've been using it for a decade together to communicate.  Her camera is always pointed on her left ear, or right elbow..

I also am going to be sharing some of our many text conversations, first reason I love my Jewish mother...she still cares about how "rested" I am regardless of what it's for.

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Second up: she still blames me when things go missing in the house even though I haven't lived there in 10 years. I'll get a frantic phone call, "Did you move the spare set of keys to the car?" When I haven't been home in 6 months. This accusation however takes the CAKE... I think she thinks text messaging is the same thing as talking out loud, because it all happened in under 5 minutes. 

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Any time she leaves me a voicemail she's starts it with "hi, it's Kathy, your mother calling," as if I don't have caller ID nor the ability to ascertain within 1 millisecond it's her calling. She also signs off her texts messages letting me know who was writing...it gets me everytime. 

 I love her so much. 

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It's too much, she's so focused on the folic acid that porn stars are no longer are an issue. Jewish motherhood at it's BEST