How Do You Spell Squirter...?

Ugh, where to even begin. Imagine a real life Pinata, only filled with STD's and a boob job that was done by someone who was visually impaired (unless she specifically asked for tits that looked like water balloons filled with cement.)  Then pour that concoction into a  14 peso turquoise dress that has cut outs so you can see her cesarian scars.  She was there with her boyfriend/producer who looked like Ricky Martin's little brother if he was missing a chromosome. I had to take 12 showers after this one. She should come with one of those Yuk man stickers I used to have on my fridge when I was little, with a hotline you could call if you ever by accident swallowed her.