This is one of the hardest podcast's i've ever made public. But the truth is that I have really gone through a transformative process recently. Someone took a flame thrower to my body and reduced me a bunch of glittery ashes and it's taken me just a second to million dollar man myself back into existence. So, in the face of me having everything, I was afraid. Deep cold fear invaded my body and had to work desperately hard to dethaw my bones so I could go forth and continue to create the life I have been manifesting for a decade.

It’s so easy in the instagram era to want to hide behind filters,
To smooth over lifes wrinkles, to cover up your insecurities.
#killingit it's all total bullshit.

I never knew what the fear of failure would feel like because I was never concerned with success. So for a short while anytime I would stand up it would feel like my bones were made of bisquick batter and I would crumble back into my bed.

So where does that leave me. It's taken months of talking to my mother, of holding my dogs really tight, of laughing with friends and doing meaningful work, to re light the fire that's inside my demon belly. But I did it. I have cast off the shackles of self doubt and insecurity and am ready to face the fire. Well. For now. Wish me luck. Shit's gonna get super intense soon kiddos. I've donned a full yellow rubber outfit and hat like that guy on the gordon's fisherman box to prepare.