MOMS BED: Mom...Why Do I Have to Get Married? Just Say NO To The Dress

Bigamy is having one wife too many - Monogamy is the same
— Oscar Wilde

As I watch those around me voluntarily march down the road most travelled, my feelings towards marriage and procreation have not changed. I avoid them like the bubonic plague. I know that there are many wonderfully happy couples who have found ways to use the foundation you build with another human to grow and learn etc....but I definitely would rather have sex with a put it more kindly, it just simply isn't my brew of macha.

I know I run the risk of actually becoming a discount bin version of Sarah Jessica Parker, wistfully waxing poetically about the wonders of being a single gal in New York City, except I am aware that she only made it look cool because she had 40,000 in heels and a sexy rent controlled one bedroom in a brown stone and I still live in a tiny crumbly apt with two other people while simultaneously wearing the same style of flat Steve Madden suede knee high boots I first got in 7th grade.. no savings, no investments, no property, no children, no foundational anything....I wonder is getting married the only way for me to actually grow up and create an infrastructure for a meaningful life for my older years? 
I spent my life building my business and collecting beautiful humans....cultivating what I thought would be life-long friendships with charismatic hooligans who I poured all my love and energy into but one by one they are vanishing like the Truffla Trees, leaving me, the sad little Lorax standing on the last stump wondering why a S'need is something that everyone needs.

I'm rambling but seriously, my best friend from college had a baby today. TODAY. I am a god mother. Hell hath frozen right over. Things are changing, now I can't get Stevie Nicks lyrics in Landslide out of my head these days...

"I've been afraid of changing, because I built my life around you. Time makes you bolder, even children get older, and I'm getting older too."

Anyway wish me luck, I want to make my mom happy, so it looks like I'm going to have to suck it up, and join the parade and say yes to some dress.....Well maybe a peacock colored mardi gras dress that's designed by a drag queen but I think at this point my mom will take what she can get.

If you know ANYONE that should go on a date with my amazing mother please send all relevant info to my email That's her on her wedding day

Love love love

Edited by: Jordan Reisman
White Wedding: Billy Idol
Chapel of Love: The Shirelles