MEMBERS ONLY CAMP OUT: I will Have Your Child If You Leave Me


This Memorial Day weekend I was an exceptional place called Members Only Camp Out, a full on music dancing orgy with the most professional partiers Brooklyn has to offer. Sometimes I feel like these people were put into those two test tube from the Movie the "FLY" and they were in one tube and records, sunglasses ketamine, prayer beads, tattoos, and the words "Tulum, Burning Man and Ayahuasca" in the other and then through SCIENCE they were genetically fused into one creature with superhero powers to stay up for days on end dancing and chatting and laughing and having a wonderfully positive attitude toward life, (and randomly loosing pieces of their nose) My kinda people.

However it was a fucking blast. Held on a old kids camp grounds on a lake full of trees and frogs and stars and bon fires I was a happy camper. ANYWAY while I was there I met this amazing guy and when you looked at him all I could think of was the song..."one of these things is not like the other..." because he was just rough and hood as fuck albeit really really handsome. He danced like a drunk lemur (kind of like that weird 90's low ninja dancing?) and had a red light in his mouth, and his tattoos weren't of Escher stairs, they were of prison style Americana so I knew he wasn't one of our bushwick party crew.

Warning, he also uses racial slang in this episode that that I certainly would never use, but this is his story...

Remember don't do drugs kids, they're very very bad. BUT if you're going to do them, make sure you have big green trees and a good sound system, hot girlfriends you can watch dance and someone to discuss politics with cuz then, then it's super duper fun. THANK YOU MEMBERS ONLY. I LOVED IT.